Under the influence a seed was planted. The raging torrent, the birth of a lightning bolt that inspired this nurturing rain.

Under the influence my soul was as captive as it was wild. No cage strong enough and no jailer brave enough.

Under the influence, this intoxicating air the sweetest I’ve ever breathed. Hazardous to the unprepared, now a lifeline in my lungs. 

Under the influence. I am relentlessly in thought, this infinite line, this beautiful unwritten script it never sleeps. Like the narrative in my heart. 

Under the influence, I am an army, not of anger or of war, but of serenity and calm. Incapable of inflicting harm, yet so full of strength. 

Under the influence, I fell in love. Sobriety of the mind has been a journey I took without planning. Love is the influence that brought me here. 

Cynics will have you believe that love only exists for the foolish and that walls created to keep it at bay can somehow conquer this beautiful leviathan of emotions. 

I refuse to be that cynic. If it fails it’s because it wasn’t meant to be. Love remains something incredible and I continue to cherish every breathtaking second. 

In every crowded room you fill my thoughts ❤️

It is what it is, be it state of mind or aching heart. The scars left strewn over pages steeped with emotions. When falling is no longer an option, getting back up becomes key. 

I’m in the bath listening to Ben Howard. It is what it is. 

The dog rose shows its first buds, soon it will bloom into an archway of delicate pink. 

The bluebells beside the doorstep throw their perfume to the breeze. 

Dandelion clocks float effortlessly. More graceful than I’ve ever noticed. 

The lilac blooms under the blackbird’s song. Both so full of life.

Ivy entwined with the climbing rose clings to the brickwork, natures will at work.

The life that fills this space is more remarkable than I can ever comprehend. 

I am blessed to be here. In return I cherish and nurture it. Season by season. 

None of this is mine and as the tiniest of blue butterflies seeks a resting place I’m in no doubt that one day man’s greed will destroy the beauty its incapable of recreating, but for now this feeling belongs to me. 

Tonight I’m walking in the woods. No eggshells underfoot. Tonight I’m myself for the first time in so long. Turning away from all that’s wrong.

Tonight I’m allowing those who tried so hard a chance. To give them the ability to shine.
Tonight I’ll smile that smile and acknowledge those I pushed aside. 

Tonight I’ll be reckless. Caution caught on the cold night air.
Tonight everything I need remains the same, but everything I want will change. 
Tonight I exhale. 

I’m being kind to myself. No more looking back….that’s not the way I’m going. What’s ahead of me is more important than ever. Fresh eyes to welcome what’s coming and that hopeful heart beats just as strong. 

Unwilling  to be a victim nor a fool.  A sunny disposition to light the way.

Sleep will come and wash it all away. I’m setting each day to refresh and shredding the anvil on my back. 
 🌙

….never there when you really want them to be. Maybe that’s best, maybe in time they’ll flow. Maybe not. Could be I’ve spilt enough emotions. Chapters, sparks, love. Whatever you call it….time to turn to a new page. 

What if I took a sip and drained this ocean dry.