I noticed him. How his t shirt clung to all the curves where my fingertips could be. That one thought that set my mind in motion. One simple cursory glance became the dictator to all that followed. Was I distracted or was distraction my aim. 

I don’t believe that you can join two separates solely on similarities. What are similarities? They are definitely not a spark, they don’t cause butterflies to take flight in your stomach. They are the predictable, but they are not enough. 

My fingertips don’t ache to touch him because we have a connection. My fingertips are the connection. How I react to those feelings has no bearing on similarities. 

How he reacts to me is all I need to understand. How he lifts his eyes to meet mine. I know him so deeply not through the person he is in the crowd, but how in the silent moments he allows me to see his core.

I stopped searching for the road to heaven, I stood silently and in complete understanding. It’s not a place I seek but a feeling. A moment in time so incredibly simple. No falsity exists here. A place where epiphanies blind you only to make you see the light. My heart is full of heaven and it’s breathtaking ability to cushion the blows inflicted by others.

This is what my love for you feels like.  It’s all of the moments that loving you has shown me. 

Sometimes I hear your voice and it reminds me of kinder times. Times when certainty ruled the world, but it fades too fast, like your commitment. 

I hold back like a silenced gun so not to wound you with these feelings that you can’t comprehend. Holding back even though it overwhelms me. 

Your apprehension is infectious and I’m no longer the perfection that you seek. What use is a love when it’s bound and left unsaid? Is it love at all?

I don’t have desires of the darkest kind, but these ropes are coming loose. I could sugar coat my every thought and the dreams that you induce. 

I remember how light fills the rooms where you spend your time. Shadows only exist to capture your sighs. 

How brushing against you sets a feeling  in motion. Like an orchestra of heartbeats. A lightning storm in my veins.

How your mouth feels against my skin. My hips the ocean to your moon. The constant pull, flowing between us. 

I remember your beauty, how you fill the silent spaces in my heart. How no crowd could outshine your presence. 

I find myself between drowning and waving, constantly constant. Fighting against it. 
Good night x 

Just a back burner, but not enough flame. She sat around waiting while he changed his name. She sorted all the categories one by one to fit into this fickle heart, but it couldn’t be done.

Judge her by her commitment. Because all the things she didn’t say to you will now remain unwritten. 

You can polish something until you wear away the edges that made it spectacular. The splinters that showed vulnerability. 

Scars are the torn branches that tell us we’re still breathing. Tugs at the heart the ferocity of feeling. 

It’s always the roughness that relieves the itch. 

The emptiness of perpetual motion. Always moving forward never taking the time. Striving ahead and ignoring the view. 
Hopeful heart. Remains hopeful. 
Goodnight x 

Rubbish nights sleep. Definitely need to get a new mattress. 
It’s a bit lighter this morning. 
Busy day ahead. I need a holiday soon. 
Peace out.