I used to love Tuesday’s and even though it’s still my usual day off Tuesday’s aren’t what they used to be.  “It’s behind you” yes, yes it is, but I’m a dweller.  Juliet Landau’s just followed me on Twitter. Which was very nice of her.  I’ll not get giddy though! I promise. “Do it again! Do it again!!” 

I have a thing about trees. The neighbours have just had two massive maples cut down. The skyline looks so bare without them now. Birds nested in them and squirrels climbed them. Eviction of nature without notice. I’m guessing it was to do with either light issues or for more land to build on. Pesky nature and it’s needs for a stable and compassionate lifestyle. I hope my landlord doesn’t notice. The tree at the bottom of my garden invades the space of possibly a one bedroom flat! 

I was going to post a video of a tree, not sure how to do that yet, so I won’t.  I’ve just done the lottery. Which really bugs me, but in my head is all the good I could do. Yes a bit of land of my own would be nice, but that’s it for me. Somewhere quiet to end my days (however long that may be) don’t know. Don’t want to know. Morbid much.

Coffee time!
I was going to enter this poetry competition, but I’m not sure I will. Subject matter isn’t something I can find on demand. I could enter what I’ve written, but there’s no feelings in them…to me that renders them a bit pointless. I’m not one for accolades and validation. 
This feels a bit like hiding from the world. I like it. Very much.
Just spotted a massive cobweb on the ceiling. I’ll get it later. 
Can I post videos here?  Yes, is the answer, but it failed after ten minutes of waiting. 

On Sunday I bought some glass clips for my greenhouse. While I was there I looked at garden buildings. I quite fancy a sun house, but they cost a fortune. I think I could build one though. All you’d need would be the instructions from the one you like…..got those! Shhhh! 

Time to cook! 
Just watched “Out of My Mind” great episode. Poor Riley. 

I spent a lot of time with someone who had a blog. I didn’t really get it at the time, but after a few days of talking to myself it makes sense completely. Twitter doesn’t offer this seclusion. You known how you sometimes just want to say something out loud without having to explain yourself.  Yeah, people may be reading this, but they aren’t responding. As far as I’m concerned I am alone here. 

Because I haven’t said that all day and I’ve just taken a peek at Twitter.  I’ve been messing about with photos recently. It used to be something I loved, but other things became more important and I stopped fiddling. I’ve more time on my hands now. 

For forty five minutes each day I lose myself in a world where vampires exist and one girl alone can save us all. “She is the slayer”

I’m and avid fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’m questioning why… I don’t fall into categories often and I’m definitely not a fan of hype or jumping on a passing bandwagon. Television is addictive. I know people who use it as “replacement therapy” Any addictive tendencies can be cured with the blue flicker. Yeah….of course they can. 

I’m going to pause. Just taking a moment to say…I’m loving this. This spilling of thoughts. Like having my own padded cell to rant and scream in peace without feeling guilty in fear of recriminations.

Back to the point…Why do I rate Buffy above say … (I really don’t watch much TV so this bit’s testing me) Doctor Who. It’s the only other TV show I’ve watched as much. 

Mostly it’s attachment. My attachment to the characters wasn’t hindered or put on hold when a new improved superhero came along or the writer changed and the universe imploded. It has an ending. 

Yeah I can buy all the usual action figures to prove my love of the show, but I don’t. My love of the show has nothing to to with the merchandise baggage that comes with it.  Joss Whedon wrote something extremely special no amount of bobbleheads can alter that or make me more enthusiastic about BtVS than I already am. 
It’s the side of fandom that I don’t buy into. That and how the fact that you spend more somehow means you really do love something…. 
“The best things in life aren’t things” 

When Buffy the Vampire Slayer first aired on BBC2 (never had Sky) I was living in a studio flat in a converted house. The happiest house I’ve ever known. I was working in a pub. I had to save to buy half a season on VHS. In 1997 bragging rights didn’t much exist.  

 
Happy house and a Bobblehead. 
  
Creepy looking things. All face and no apparent likeness to the thing they are associated to.
In 98 I moved, packed my VHS season and upped sticks. Taking my love of BtVS with me. It remains one of the few constants in my life. Would I part with it? Fight me and find out. 
In 98 I also won a competition on C4s Big Breakfast. Everything you need to be a student. Which included a computer. Something I would probably never had bothered with until much later. I’ve never been associated with a disposable income. Most of my life has been of a “needs must” ideology. Which I’m extremely grateful for. 

So this world of fandom was right there in front of me. The BBC Cult TV message boards was my first real glimpse at the obsessive behaviour of some. That said it was a beautiful place to chat about BtVS with people you’d never actually meet…..until much later. The message boards were open until midnight (things weren’t always incessant) they also had moderators. People who would step in if things got a tad testy….which they did on occasions. They were lovely people. People who lost their jobs due to BBC cuts. I hope they are all happy.  
My screen name was “Vampire 666”  because you know, evil and all.  I made the mistake of straying from the safety of the Buffy boards once and found myself on the “Religion   boards” Frosty receptions with icicles on don’t come more frosty than that one. I used the Film boards on occasions too. Someone called “Fripono” was a draw rather than the subject matter. I hope he’s well too. 

This was the final night of the BBC Cult boards. Although I do recall being able to post on there for a few days after it closed, but that didn’t last long. Sadly all my screenshots etc are on my iMac. My dead iMac that lives in the cupboard under the stairs. 

http://bbc.adactio.com/cult/news/cult/2005/03/01/17228.shtml 

I had to stop talking it was dinner time. Watched “The Replacement” episode 3 S5. Great episode. So many wonderful lines. So much character growth.  
One episode a day is my limit though. I know people who sit in front of the TV all day. Fair play to them, but it’s not for me. 
To be continued…….

What I love about BtVS is how I can relate to it. I’m far from being a teenager……so very far. I like how a female is allowed to be strong without stripping down to her underwear to gain fans. It’s one of the things that puts me off of the whole superhero world. It’s all a bit manga. 
  

Creepy stuff, Bobbleheads but sexually active bobbleheads. Young girls faces, on women’s bodies. Yeah it’s a niche, a very peculiar one. 
Buffy is a young woman she looks like a young woman. Yes she’s a superhero, but no costume change is necessary to be that. 

What BtVS allows is emotion. The superhero is always there, but even though it’s at the centre it’s not all there is.

  
Funny name for something that turns us all into unsociable creatures. But the picture above represents how it feels to me. 
I often imagine my Twitter timeline as a stream. Full of flotsam and jetsam. Some days you can sit beside it and wonderful things pass by in the calm waters. Other days it’s a torrent of noise and attention seeking chaos. Everyone so eager to have their hashtagged minutes of fame. 

There’s a link to this blog on my Twitter page. I doubt many will click it because it’s not about them. With their incessant TV watching, their *happy dancing* and diets. Every year is just repetition almost to a deadline. 
On the plus side. I’ve got to know some truly inspirational people who’ve unwittingly changed my life and turned me into someone who does fight for change. I’ve become involved with things I would have probably just shouted about five years ago. 

Of course there are extremely special people there too, some who brighten my days. To name names seems a tad unfair and I’m nothing if not obvious in my friendships. 
Imagine sharing a block of flats with your Twitter timeline. Who would you share the elevator with and who would you take the stairs to avoid? 

I’ve followed some at random and some by recommendations. Animal rights activists I follow constantly, but I never confuse that wanting to save animals necessarily makes a person good. As with political stances idiots exist in abundance. 

A few months ago I followed someone (recommended) by others I follow. I didn’t go through my usual “check out their bio” “see who they follow and favourite” Yep as a rule those are my rules.  He was a total pest. As soon as I tweeted he’d DM me. I started to avoid Twitter. Why do we follow those who we don’t necessarily like? Just to be nice? Just to fit in? Fit into what? 

Anyway I unfollowed him, but first made a point of saying (in an unaddressed tweet) why. He blocked me immediately. Silence speaks volumes when it comes to cowardice.
Having something in common with someone is not an open door with a welcome mat. Some people see Twitter as just that. Especially the unhappily married ones. 
Christ if you can’t be with the one you love…try loving your actual partner or leave. It’s not love. It’s boredom! 

I think having this blog is the beginning of the end of my time on Twitter. I was looking for a place to express myself all along.

I consider myself a very good judge of people and some say it’s wrong to judge….that’s their judgment, not mine. 

http://youtu.be/5abamRO41fE

I adore Slipknot. Poetry isn’t about verse and rhyme it’s about finding meaning and writing it down.