Somewhere along the line I fell. I’m possibly still falling, but I’m reaching out for things to cling to on my way down. Moments linger, important, sometimes spellbinding moments that might be taken for granted.

I think it’s those moments that get me through. Knowing what’s possible and absorbing every precious memory. Holding onto whatever’s necessary, because the dark times will do their best to make you believe that happiness is impossible.  Misery is a devious master, it’ll convince you of anything it wants and always when you’re vulnerable

We’re all vulnerable…although we’re often completely unaware of it. You can’t rely on others to convince you that happiness exists and I think that is where we often fail ourselves. Our responsibilities are ours. 

….a natural process that is extremely simple when we allow the light in. I’ve taken to going with the flow of things lately. Shutting out some of the bad to allow natural progression. I’m surrounded by so much artificial behaviour that it takes hold eventually. People are incredibly bad at protecting the things that really matter in preference to safeguarding the nonsense. 

Just a quick flick through Twitter this morning is enough for me. I can’t fill my life with that….”look at what I’ve done, bought, seen” rule book. Everyone arguing about what’s right and wrong….when it’s so obvious. Outcomes are not outcomes until it’s over. 

Just a few minutes in my garden…. seeing natures amazing resilience at work. The wonders that happen without human intervention. It’s not perfect…the constant hum from the surrounding roads the most damaging of background noises, but the grass grows, the flowers bloom and nature prepares for a new season. It’s near perfection and it’s enough. 

Just the silence and thought. Good memories filling my heart with warmth. Touches, glances and words already spoken, already felt.  I’m very tired. Good night x 

You always have a role in my filthy mind and it’s never just a cameo. 

My necklace is still lost. I think it was the last piece of everything else that got lost from those moments in time. 

And like those moments it couldn’t ever be replaced….the sentiment with which it was given are sadly lost too. 

My memories; however, remain.
Good night x

It’s strange the risks you don’t take. Just in case you might lose what you no longer have. 

….being a closed book is easier on the heart.  Although I’ve no fucking idea how to be a closed book.  I guess people just stop talking. Scares the hell out of me though. The thought that one day I’ll just stop communicating. 

Some days I feel beautiful. Today was one of those days. We underestimate those tiny gestures that people make. Kind words are often swallowed up by all the noise in between. To be appreciated is nice. Sometimes it’s life affirming at those times when you needed most but didn’t want to ask. Those who care notice, those who don’t probably never will ✌🏼

Trace my soul with your fingertips, taste me on your twisted lips. You’re the venom between my hips. 

May your dreams be of the sweetest kind. Good night x 

…. my necklace. I’ve searched everywhere I’ve been. Beyond gutted.