I woke early after a pretty restless night. Always the same on Sundays in preparation for the first alarm of the new week and just one day off ahead.  Although bank holidays do come without management. Definitely a more relaxed feel on what is often my busiest day. 

Still dark and a tad nippy.  

All the things I tried to show you are all the things you couldn’t see. Until you understand yourself you put the blame on me. There’s no mystery. 

I am bruised and I am angry, but my heart deserves much more. So I’ll step aside and seek a peaceful shore. 

There’s no excuse and it’s no use so I’ll stop trying. This safe harbour that I was anchored in…the knots are now untying. 

It’s so important to remain graceful even when people treat you badly, some people will push you to the limits just to watch you burn. I refuse to live a life governed by other people’s actions. 

I’m a little bit delicate this morning. Too much beer and a mother of a migraine last night. I’d written a poem for today, but I’ve scrapped that for now. Back to the drawing board….

The climbing rose looks incredibly healthy this year. It’s usually covered in aphids at this time, but for some reason it’s very clean and very green! Love how it clings to the brick wall. 

Even the relentless heart gets tired of the unrequited love. Rejection makes the soul lose fight, this isn’t what I was dreaming of. 

The closed door that I stood before eventually became a wall. I thought I was stronger, but it seems my strength got broken in the fall. 

Still in the silence you refuse to hear the roar of my desire. As my footsteps fade our paths uncross. I’m defeated now, just embers of this fire. 

Unavoidable and unavailable all at the same time. You’re my worst muse,self abuse, controlling every line. 

And I find myself needing so much more than this. 

Severed branches where the starlings slept these fresh shoots explode with life. Carved names ingrained in this ancient beast are now husband and wife. 

Love affairs began here in the shadows of this oak. Temptation unraveled beneath these boughs and passion it awoke. 

His velvet lips kissed every curve, she watched his mouth feed on her soul. Bite marks remain where her heart should be. The life in her he stole. 

She rests here in the shadows still, pressed hard against the wood. Her spine soaked with the evening rain, she’d devour him if she could. 

This woodland glade inside her mind the poetry through her veins, now tethered here, she’s bound to this. These unforgiving chains. 

She seeks solace in the strangers  touch, but her roots still deep and strong. With every mist filled sunrise until these words are gone. 

The place where journeys start, where bonds begin and end. Where the timetables change in the blink of an eye and loving arms extend.

I like the sound my case makes as the concrete changes to wood. How the curves in the grain go on living as nature intended they should. 

I like how phones become useless all eyes fixed to the matrix board. “On time” and “cancelled” at the flick of a switch controlling the mesmerised horde. 

The wrought iron steps that my dad would climb at the end of every shift. They still remain and I see him smile in memories now, but such a gift. 

Coffee and flowers fill the air with their unmistakable blend of perfume. Whatever the weather is outside this place can erase the gloom. 

This is where I come to feel close to you, a place where you’ve never been. Where my journey began on platform one, a journey that now feels like a dream. 

I still want the fairytale, the impossible. The most beautiful of perfumed blooms in every room. The moss stained clothing, the dents in the grass where we’d lay for hours just because we could…..

The wisteria covered archways that flower like silent fireworks and fade as fast. The poets hands around my waist, his words dripping from my spine. Hands that know my every flaw yet cherish them as perfection. 

Soul searching with a microscope shouldn’t be necessary. Hidden feelings are as good as dead. One sided battle is no battle at all,  when a white flag is all you have left.