I am aware when you’re near me. How my mind changes track in an instant. Blurred lines, crossed. 

I would capture your heart if I had the strength, if I though it would make any sense, but sense left me longing. 

Longing to feel your hands on my hips. Longing to taste you on my lips…Are you for real does this even exist.

I feel you. Restrained, but I want to.

…..what changes a person completely. Their morals, their beliefs, the food they eat, the company they keep. 

Pretence is a peculiar game, like you’ve outgrown yourself, in a few months time you’ll be someone else.

Some actors get paid a fortune, some perform for free. Some play it deep and meaningful, some masks are harder to see. 

Even the most obvious of callings can’t avert my heart. I’m flattered by your attention, but I’m too submerged to take part. 
I am bound to my emotions, tied up in every word. 

I miss it. I miss being able to focus with enough depth to write it down. I miss those hours where the words seemed infinite.  
Only in the shadows will colours be deep enough to match those that shone so brilliantly in your light. 

I need a holiday. 
I’ve got odd socks on. 

Souvenir cork from August. 

When you rejoin Twitter, every automated DM that you ever had….you get again.

Last day on my old timetable today. Four days off now and then new timetable from Monday. Might regret this decision.

Someone put cows milk in my coffee 😥 I wasn’t aware. 

….when interesting people talk I focus so hard that miss what they’re saying. Mouths are incredibly distracting. 

I’ve lost my bracelet. 

I hate feeling out of my depth, but strangely not when I’m in water. I’m not though. In water I mean. 

I’m not fond of rap, but I’m in love with poetry and the two seem to merge seamlessly. I don’t have the talent to add music to words, but if I could, I’d want to come this close. 

Such arrogance, but fed from insecurity. Writing about experiences is hard, but it’s the deepest most poignant resource we have. Imaginary is so simple in comparison. I find it almost impossible to search for inspiration, the obvious will always be obvious, but inspiration finds you. Once it has you can’t ignore it. 

I rested my head against the bus window last night and felt the vibration in my bones. Shop windows full of flashing lights screaming of “must have” things.  Dummies dressed to convince us of how we could be, as we pass through shop doorways. Faceless plastic….what a perfect place to be. 

On the homestretch now, the same vibration in my bones. Longing for some silence, a picket fence on the greenest expanse a view of the ever changing ocean bathed in light. 

Can things ever be that simple and would it be everything you hope for?  You can’t dip your toes in just to test a theory, immerse yourself. Damage limitation? Save it for business meetings. 

People who can describe themselves, who can claim  categories that they change as often as their clothing. The closed books with the well worn pages and overused lines. I can’t find comfort in falsities. 

Treat love like it’s “a limited resource” like this time might be the last time. Remember how good happiness can feel. Look carefully at who’s behind the trigger before you dodge the bullets. 

I saw a man on the bus last night laden down with bags and balloons. Shop bought romance and gestures of love. 
He looked happy and I think that’s the point. It’s easy to become cynical about the commercialism of it, but the bottom line is love it’s up to the individual how they express it.

Personally think words are always enough. Not quoted or necessarily eloquent, but heartfelt and honest.

Words, never in short supply nor affected by the markets. Language is the gift we’ve all been given in equal measure.

For the lonely…. You will be loved. You will be someone’s universe. You will make their pulse race and they will cherish your embrace. Let the right one in.

Happy Valentine’s Day. 

I still dream of you, sometimes in fragments, sometimes it’s like you’re right beside me. 

Words are mumbled as if it’s best not to hear them. They hang in the air still. 

I can’t recall the last words we said “love you” “goodbye” perhaps on a Sunday morning in January…..the 15th.