With daylight dreams fade, that winding river I found disappears with the siren’s urgency. Noise,  the human condition showing its muscles. I sit surrounded by nature content but disenchanted with my species. This urge to escape never leaves my side, like a detached shadow leading the way. 

My bones ache for a better place and not “making the best of what you’ve got” that generic advice that we bow down to. What I have is a desire to walk away, away from these constant battles. Hatred has no resolve it feeds on our fears. Evil ideology has no logic and only in acknowledgment will it gain fruition.

It’s too noisy isn’t it? Life, our quest to be heard, understood. Yet in our calmest moments we achieve so much. Our language has changed, our means of communication turns us into something we’re not. We despise bullying….yet we take part in it so often. At our bravest behind keyboards. We mock, we abuse, we assume we know best. Why? 
I don’t think we’re that keen on who we are most of the time. I’d say we’re no better than wolves, but wolves are way more intelligent. Their life is about survival. Ours? It seems to me it’s about how great we can be, how loud we can shout. 
Our skills are limited, I think we’ve lost our way completely. 

I’m finding my way. Trying hard not to look back, to see the natural end of situations and let go. Like putting a fire blanket over my feelings. Eventually the power and the heat will go out. To understand my mistakes as nothing more than that. I left the door open to forgiveness, but it was closed unconditionally.  At times I still question the depth that existed or if it existed at all. Some people bookmark the pages and some don’t care for books at all. 

I could sit all day with a blank page and not write a single word. Sometimes that’s enough, the intent. What isn’t written is still to be said and when it comes it flows, I feel it’s meaning. It’s not a necessity it’s never that. Expressions of thoughts sprawling forward and finding shapes within each line. I think of poetry as images first always from memory or inspiration. It’s something I treasure.

The clouds eclipsed the sun and the delicate mist fills the air with chill. I like how the moisture sits on my hair, microscopic worlds filtered through iridescent eyes. 

To truly embrace nature is to understand it’s power. Not to step too heavily just to find your path. All paths are laden with beauty and the urge to get to our desired destination blinkers that view. 

Be aware of what’s underfoot it may not be the reason you’re here, but to disregard its existence, it’s belonging  is too heavy a price just to satisfy an expectation. 

There is something far greater than the physical attraction between two people. There’s the connection that goes beyond the physical. So deep that you can feel what they feel without words. How that person can bring you to life with the thoughts you share.  It can’t be forced. It’s so rare, but when you find it love becomes so obvious. Mind body and soul.  Lost but anchored. 

Vicariously I’d like to be a flower. To draw the warmth from the sun, nourished so effortlessly by natures hand. Resting in seasonal transition, sleeping below the turmoil. Riding it out only to bloom again. I’m still in complete awe of how simple life could be if we just stopped clawing at natures resources with disregard and greed. Feet on the heads of those below as we climb the ladder of….. self importance. 

I wish I had a fickle heart… when at the end of one chapter another would start. I wish my depths were that of a shower and I’d change my mind from hour to hour. 

Constant is the place where I sit, the outlook, the view I live in it. The flaws are here for all to see. They are mine and I own them honestly.

The things that I write are those I believe so please excuse the heart shaped stain on my sleeve. It’s endless, relentless this emotion you see. It’s mine and I feel it constantly. 

I lost my muse. My source of inspiration that dropped its gaze. I acknowledge that desire for peace and I’m thankful for the connection. I am made of many things, but I became me in your presence. 

I capture all the memories that make me happy and I store them in a cloud. A vast nebulous. So that when the dark skies return and the moisture causes me to seek shade…I smile.